Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport

U.S. Sen. Larry Craig's (R-Idaho) motion to withdraw his guilty plea will be heard in a Hennepin County District court room this week.

You read it here first: Contrary to conventional wisdom, Craig will win this motion.

I was out of the country and completely unplugged when the Larry Craig story broke. The only U.S. news I saw while I was in Egypt and Jordan were the mimeographed news sheets printed from an international Internet news service that were hung on hotel room doors each morning. Certainly it was amusing to see the men's room at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport achieve international importance. And, certainly the only rational conclusion from these news sheets was that Craig was, of course, guilty of soliciting gay sex in the men's room.

When I returned to Minneapolis, rather than reading the news stories first, I pulled up the motion (PDF) Craig's lawyers had filed to withdraw the guilty plea. And, rather than read the motion, I first read the original source documents (the exhibits):

1. From the report filed by Minneapolis Airport Police Investigative Sergeant Dave Karsnia, we learn that putting your carry on bag in front of you in a bathroom stall is, in and of itself, lewd coduct. Writes Karsnia in his report, "My experience has shown that individuals engaged in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall." [Remember that next time you're in a stall in a bathroom airport...and never mind that there's no other place to put the bag in the stall.]

2. From the transcript of Karsnia's interview with Craig, we learn that Craig was patently offering that if Craig signed a guilty plea, that would be the end of the matter. Said Karsnia, "There'll be a fine. You won't have to explain anything." Further, "[Y]ou're going to have to pay a fine and that will be it. Okay. I don't call the media. I don't do any of that type of crap."

3. From the mailed form Craig used to enter a guilty plea of misdemeanor to a disorderly conduct charge, we learn that Craig circled the "I am not" represented by an attorney choice.

These documents also included discussions of eye contact, hand waving under the stall divider and foot tapping. Maybe all that is a gay code of conduct about which I know nothing. But the acts, themselves, would easily meet Disney's standards for a G-rated movie.

This is the stuff that can derail a U.S. Senate career? You've got to be kidding me.
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